top of page

Safe Dating and Sex


What are the most important steps to safe dating and sex?



Being physically and emotionally safe involves communicating with partners and prospective partners about ways to keep each other safe. If you are dating a trans person, be sensitive about the language they may use to talk about their bodies and body parts. Pre- and post-operative trans people may use different language to talk about their bodies that feels more gender affirming than the clinical language typically associated with those parts. For example, a transman/FTM may refer to his cock and front-hole rather than a clit or a vagina. Similarly, a transwoman/MTF may use the word clit and labia instead of penis and testicles to refer to her genitals. If you are unsure, ask your partner what language is okay for you to use.

Everyone is different: while some trans people are comfortable using their genitals during sex, some may want to use toys only. This may change depending on each situation, how safe someone feels, how familiar they are with someone, etc. Communicate openly and honestly with each other. Ask permission before trying something new to make sure the interaction stays fun and safe for everyone.

Steps to Safe dating:

Before going on a date, take precautions to make sure you are as safe as possible:

  • Talk on the phone ahead of time.

  • Let a friend know whom you will be with, the address of where you will be and your expected time of return.

  • Meet in a public place where there are plenty of other people around.

  • Try to meet in a place that is familiar for you.

  • If you feel unsafe at any time for any reason, listen to your gut and get yourself out of the situation. --Never go home with someone you feel uncomfortable with.

  • Have a back up. Ask a friend to call or text to check up on you during the date.

  • Keep it time limited. If you’re not having a good time, you’ll be able to leave and you won’t have to go on a second date.

bottom of page